THE CONSERVATIVE-CHRISTIAN REPUBLICAN TRIALS OF 2004:
WHEN CONSERVATISM AND CHRISTIANITY RAN WILD IN AMERICA
BY LISA RICHARDS
2004
It began in the winter of 2004
at the Iowa Caucus.
Democratic Candidate Dr. Howard
Dean, Former Governor of the State of Vermont was afflicted with a strange and
un-natural illness that caused him to become loud, aggressive, and violent.
In front of thousands, Governor
Dean began to rant and rave like a lunatic. Governor Dean became uncontrollable; so profusely he perspired that his wife,
a doctor, knew something was horribly wrong with the good doctor Dean. She had seen the affliction four years earlier when
Former Vice President Al Gore became soaked in a river of sweaty profusion while ranting on about the enemy. At that time,
liberals refused to admit one of their own had become possessed.
Governor Dean gripped the microphone
shouting with venom and rage, stomped his well-shod feet upon the stage, wildly flailing his arms about and swinging
his body to and fro in convulsive fits. Spit spewed from his blasphemous lips onto the terrified audience of innocent Democrats.
Howard Dean had turned into a
crazed-minded, evilly stiff-grinned Beelzebub.
Dean began to foam at the
mouth as he shouted about going from state to state until he would take over Washington D.C.
He screamed to the crowd that he was taking them with him.
A frightened Teresa Heinz-Kerry
held tight to her Trophy-Husband Senator John Kerry who looked on in horror at his Democratic challenger.
Congresswoman Nancy Pelosi was
so horrified by the bizarre ranting of Governor Dean that her face permanently froze in a position of wide-eyed fright; and
poor Congressman Dick Gephardt became as white as Elmer’s glue.
Dr. Dean, wife of the Governor,
examined him after Security Guards dragged him away kicking and screaming, but Dr. Dean could find no natural explanation
for her husband’s abnormal affliction. This left only one conclusion—it must be the work of Christians.
Somehow Conservative Republicans
had invaded America.
That spring, after many examinations,
Howard Dean was able to speak in a somewhat normal manner. He revealed to the liberal press that Republicans were trying to
take over the country and the President of the United States—Born
Again, Evangelical Christian George W. Bush was leading them.
The Texan was spreading Christian
conservatism and convincing Americans that God loves them and they should love their neighbor as they love themselves and
pray for America’s safety. Worse, President Bush was
praying and fasting and telling Americans that he was going to win re-election.
This President actually confessed
that Jesus was his Lord and Savior and that God told him to run for President.
The democrats were overcome with
terror.
Senator Ted Kennedy was found
drunk in the Chesapeake Bay trying to drown himself in four-feet of water.
Senator Robert Byrd was seen
tossing rope into the trees of his back yard where he was desperately trying to hang himself.
Jesse Jackson was spotted at
local D.C. schools teaching Blacks to speak English the right way and stop blaming Whites for the reasons unemployed Minorities
don’t have jobs and pay taxes.
The Reverend Al Sharpton was
seen picketing the UN building demanding it be disbanded while decrying the organization as liars and thieves who eat out
at expensive New York restaurants while their own people in African Nations
starve to death.
Former President Bill Clinton
began to repent of his sinful, lustful past, seeking a life of Christianity as a celibate Pastor. And his wife, Senator Hillary
Rodham-Clinton was seen whacking people over the heads and dragging their shoeless, lifeless bodies across grassy Washington
D.C. areas while screaming; “I killed you already Vince Foster! How many times do
I have to kill you to keep you from talking?”
Suddenly prominent Democrats
were acting more bizarre than usual.
Democratic Chairman Terry Macauluff
knew something must be done. He gathered the Congress and Senate members who still had sanity—Joseph Lieberman and Zell
Miller—and decided that they must root out this evil before it wins re-election and destroys the liberal agenda.
The DNC chairman needed to get
to the root cause and destroy those evil Christian Conservative Republicans.
Little did Macauluff know that
Senator Miller was a conservative Christian campaigning for President Bush, and Senator Lieberman was a staunch supporter
of Bush’s War On Terror.
It is said that Joe Lieberman
was seen talking to Florida Jews and telling them to vote for the Christian.
Rumor has it that the Jew is secretly a Republican working to destroy liberals and democrats and that is why Al Gore lost
the 2000 election.
That could not be proved, but
Zell Miller’s involvement with Christianity and conservatism was exposed at the 2004 Republican National Convention.
He was voting for Bush—after he challenged Chris Matthews to a dual.
In July of 2004, Senator John
F. Kerry of Massachusetts was named the Democratic Candidate for the Democratic
Party. He was the Presidential nominee and Democrats were counting on him to destroy Conservative Christians—he was
the only one to defeat Republican President George W. Bush and restore the liberal immorality and anti-American life-styles
that Democrats and Hollywood had worked so hard to build.
If the Conservative Jew masquerading
as a Liberal Jew couldn’t do it for Al Gore in 2000, then the Jew masquerading as an Irish Gentile could in 04’.
But something went horribly wrong.
During the Campaign, Teresa Heinz-Kerry
began to spew foul language at the crowds who supported her husband. She spat four lettered obscenities about Republicans
that caused her husband to fear that his wife too had become afflicted with this strange unnatural behavior Democrats openly
displayed.
Mrs. Heinz-Kerry became vulgar
and unattractive—more so than usual, and her voice took on an oddly grating, discordant, inhuman tone as she vented
in anger and hatred.
Actually she was exposing her
hidden insanity.
At the Democratic National Convention,
Teresa Heinz-Kerry stumbled out onto the stage stoned. She was heavily sedated and slurring her words in some strange and
unnatural Mephistopheles like tongue.
In an attempt to cover up his
wife’s delusions, Senator Kerry began to recite bizarre tales of military heroism. He claimed to have been a Viet
Nam War hero who was greatly decorated for battles he had filmed live while they happened.
It is now known that Al Gore, a professional photographer who was sent to Viet Nam
as a journalist directed the incredible footage of Kerry’s magnificent acting.
Kerry told tales of the evils
done by himself and all Viet Nam Soldiers. He claimed they
raped, pillaged, and destroyed villages in the fashion of Ghangis Khan. His horrified children tried to cover for their father’s
exposed nuttiness by telling a heroic tale of Senator Kerry giving mouth-to-mouth resuscitation to a Hamster.
Hamsters all over America
rose up in protest claiming Kerry killed that Hamster.
Kerry blamed George W. Bush for
freeing 50 million people in two nations from evil, brutal Dictators. He boldly declared that in doing so, Americans had died
for Americans and innocent Iraqis and Afghanis so all would live free. This was wrong he claimed. We should not be freeing
people and giving Democracy to the Middle East; no, that is the work of evil Christians and they must
be stopped.
Remember, we’re Americans,
we don’t help people, we send the UN who pretends to feed and cloth the poor, then we let Democrats take credit for
never doing a damn thing.
The Democrats went wild. They
knew John Kerry could rid America of this strange affliction
that was exposing the Democrat’s insanity. John Kerry would save the Democrat Party from extinction.
But things began to worsen. Senator
Hillary Rodham-Clinton became frighteningly abusive in her mannerisms when speaking before large crowds of Democrats. She
would screech like a shrew in heat as she poured out vile rhetoric towards the Republicans. The louder she became, the more
piercing her shrewish screech elevated to explosive levels. Her eyes began to bulge—more than usual—with a look
of wild hysteria; her mouth grew wider exposing k-ninesque-like fangs. She was delusional. Hillary Clinton was out of control.
Former Vice President Al Gore
too became crazed.
Adolph Hitler had been resurrected
when Gore spoke. He shouted, he screamed, he howled, he roared, he bellowed in hysterics.
The Sultan of Sweat denounced
the Republicans with heated Hell-Fire rhetoric. So inflamed was he, he grabbed his wife Tipper as he did in 2000 and began
to kiss her wildly, violently in a manner disturbing even to Hollywood.
Oh, the Republicans had to be
stopped. Their Christian Conservatism could not be allowed to spread. If it did, America
might become a moral Christian nation like its founders had created.
Campaigns to stop Republicans
sprang up overnight,
WE CAN’T MOVE ON.ORG,
WOMEN AGAINST RAZORS
FOR KERRY,
and;
CONFUSED ATHIEST-CATHOLIC-NEW
YORK JEWS WHO VOTE FOR MID-WEST FORMER FIRST LADIES PRETENDING TO BE EVANGELICAL CHRISTIAN
JEWS, FOR KERRY.
GYMN TEACHERS AGAINST
COMPETETIVE SPORTS BECAUSE THEY ARE UNFAIR TO LOSERS FOR KERRY came out to defend the athletically challenged windsurfing
Senator in spandex.
SERIAL DIVORCED GIGILO
HUSBANDS FOR A WEALTHIER LIBERAL SOCIETY OF TROPHY HUSBANDS came out to support the marries-for-money Senator.
and;
MILLIONAIRE THEIVING
TRIAL LAWYERS WHO WILL DESTROY THE RICH TO MAKE THEMSELVES RICH promised to sue every Conservative in America with money,
businesses, education and a home and give it to poor, lazy, fat, Welfare stealing lowlifes they ass-kiss.
Anti-Gun crowds came out to support
the anti-Christian Kerry, especially when he went duck hunting in that really nifty designer camouflage-hunting outfit.
The Ten Commandments were removed
from an Alabama Court House to show that God is not allowed in a liberal America.
Democrats quickly aborted their
unborn children to show that no life is sacred, and liberal School Teachers passed out condoms like Halloween candy to children
in an effort to promote free sex, teen pregnancy, abortion and AIDS.
Democrats were absolutely convinced
that they were going to destroy the Republicans on November 2, 2004 and
rid the country of this sudden affliction of morality wanting.
But that never happened.
On November 2, 2004, George W. Bush won re-election with more votes than any President in the history
of the United States. He also won the House floor and the
Senate.
The Republicans were now in control
of America and suddenly Americans did not want a sexualized
society with immorality in TV and Movies. Somehow, Conservatism and Christianity had spread its ugly disease.
Democrats knew there was only
one thing to do—block the nominations of Cabinet Members. Put the nominees on trial and expose their evil Patriotism.
One by one, Republicans were
dragged before Congressional Hearings and Senate Armed Committees who interrogated them, forcing them to admit to their crimes.
Condoleeza Rice was interrogated
for weeks about her involvement in the Iraq War. She was accused
of plotting with the President to remove the evil dictator Saddam Hussein from power and freeing 25 million people from rape,
torture and murder. She was accused of foreknowledge of 9/11.
Democrats discovered a secret
plot. Rice and Bush actually had the World Trade center, the Pentagon and the Capitol attacked on September 11, 2001. Yes,
Condoleeza rice sent a note to Osama bin Laden that gave explicit details on how and when to attack America.
Bill Clinton on the other hand,
worked tirelessly for eight years trying to capture the terror master-mind.
Bin Laden only works with
Republicans because they are for terrorists not against them.
Next was the trial of Alberto
Gonzales. The President was going to appoint a Conservative Mexican Christian to Attorney General. The Democrats could not
allow that. They were the Party of Minorities, not those Republicans.
Gonzales was accused of loving
to torture people and wanting torture to be committed upon all enemy combatants. Only John Kerry is allowed to commit crimes
against humanity in the fashion of Ghangis Khan and deny it.
Next was the trial of that
four-eyed despotic patriot named Donald Rumsfeld who had the pomposity to drop a 10-ton bomb on top of Saddam Hussein’s
gaudy, gilded palace.
Why that was preposterous.
Saddam Hussein never did anything erroneous toward America
in his 35 years of mass destruction of humanity. For Secretary Rumsfeld to conclude such abstractions is ludicrous and deserving
of an inquisition for treason in The Hague.
After that, came the trials of
Supreme Court Justice Nominees, one of whom is a Black Conservative and Christian Republican. And a woman to boot!
But in the end, the five-year
trials and filibustering to prevent these judges from their appointments failed.
The Democrats lost their fight;
the Nominees were confirmed. This left only one thing—elect Howard Dean to the head of the Democratic National Committee.
Get rid of Terry Macauluff. If
he was ignorant of the evil Senators Lieberman and Zell Miller, God only knew what else he let slip by.
Howard Dean is the man who had
the courage to point the finger at Republicans as reason for his affliction; he would be the man to stand up to them and expose
them. He would give up all the names of every Christian conservative Republican in America.
The entire 80 percent of them.
In 2005, Howard Dean, the new
DNC Chairman got up to speak before a crowd of democrats; but his earlier afflictions must not have been completely cast out
of him because he became delusional and demonic once again.
Howard Dean told the crowd that
he hates Republicans and everything they stand for. He called Republicans evil and mean. He accused them of racism and segregation.
He said that Republicans never allowed blacks into their forums unless they were the hired help, and exposed something evil—the
Republican Party were all a bunch of White Christians—they were the Party of White Christians.
No one had ever revealed this
before. Howard Dean came forward and lifted the dark veils of ignorance from the White-eyes of Americans and let them see
that there are no Blacks in the Republican Party—only in the Democrat Party.
Condoleeza Rice is not really
Black; she’s a Southern White woman with an addiction to tanning beds and bronzing make-up; and Colin Powell is a dark-skinned
Italian from the Bronx whose real name is Colinaro Pasquali Powletti. Alberto Gonzales is not a Mexican from Texas,
he’s a Texas white boy named Big Al Two-Step who’s been out in the
sun too long.
Day after day, the ranting and
ravenous lunacy of Howard Dean continues. Hate spews forth like Krakatoa on milk of magnesia.
Trials continue—Ambassador
Bolton’s confirmation is being blocked and filibustered like Bill Clinton at his wife’s bedroom door.
All the hysteria democrats heaped
upon the nation in order to stop Republican’s Conservatism and Christian values from spreading did not work.
Democrats were exposed for the
lies they told about some strange affliction caused by Christian Conservatives.
Charges against Republican Nominees
were adamantly denied by the accused. John Kerry’s lies about Viet Nam were exposed by The Swift Boat Veterans For Truth,
and Howard Dean who really is afflicted with demons continues to spin his head round and round as he spits out lie after lie.
There’s no word yet on
whether or not Ted Kennedy was able to swim quick enough to make it too D.C.’s last call
Copywrite
2004
